BEN TROVATO writes:
After anxious cogitation, we have commissioned Miss Marple to enquire and report back as to the whereabouts of a certain Ms Melancholy, who has been missing from her blog since the end of October.
According to evidence supplied by the lady herself prior to her disappearance, supplemented by subsequent rumour, our friendly neighbourhood therapist has taken herself off to a lesbian menage deep in the countryside where [she alleges] BT cannot provide her with broadband facilities and there is also apparently dial-up failure.
Despite mounting unease amongst her growing band of unhappy fans, Ms M has so far not resurfaced. Bearing in mind the famous episode when Miss Marple's creator, the great Dame Agatha Christie, vanished for some weeks and turned up in a genteel Harrogate hotel claiming amnesia, we thought that Miss Marple was the obvious sleuth to unravel the deepening Ms Melancholy mystery.
She will need all the help she can get, not least from all those now posting on Ms Melancholy's thread who may have even the faintest clues to her whereabouts.