Morris and his wife Esther went to the Yorkshire Show every year and every year Morris would say "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."
Esther always replied "I know Morris; but that helicopter ride is fifty quid, and fifty quid is fifty quid."
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair and Morris said "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter I might never get another chance."
To this Esther replied "Morris, that helicopter is fifty quid, and fifty quid is fifty quid."
The pilot overheard the couple and said "Listen folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won't charge you! But if you say one word it's fifty quid."
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said "By golly! I did everything I could to get you to yell out but you didn't. I'm really impressed!'
Morris replied "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out; but, you know, fifty quid is fifty quid."
The Beadle wishes to make it quite clear that he and Mrs Malaprop never visit the Yorkshire Show, and do not like riding in helicopters.
Dame Barbara is currently concocting her latest airy romance Up Up and Away - a tall tale of thrills and spills.
Ben is kept busy supplying her with copious pink gins.
Anticant impatiently awaits the approaching pageant of summer.
Wooffie is wearing his second-best pearls.
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
Another of Ben's gleanings: